Everyone has a tendency to compare themselves with other people. Often, we don’t even consciously think about the fact that we are doing it. College students are certainly not exempt from this. I often compare myself to other students.

I look at a person in my department and think, they are involved in more than me. I look at another person in my class and think, they get better grades than me. I look at yet another person in theatre acting beside me and think, they can dance better or they can sing better than me.

After repeating this thought process day after day, it gets to me, and I become frustrated. I place such high standards for myself, not only for personal success, but because I feel I will only succeed if I do it better and more efficiently than everyone else. But I can never get there. No matter how hard I try, I know I will never live up to my own expectations. There will always be someone better than me at anything I do. This knowledge is quite humbling, but it can also be mentally degrading. I think, will I ever be where I want to be? Will I ever be as good at such-and-such as so-and-so?

This was the everlasting circle I was and still find myself in.

This year, I attended the SPJ Region 4 Conference in Cleveland, Ohio, with classmates and  co-workers from The Yellow Jacket. The keynote speaker at the conference was Dana Canedy, administrator of the Pulitzer Prizes. Even if I don’t remember anything else from the her inspirational lecture, I know I will always remember one phrase she used. She said, “You can only run in your own lane.”

The most important thing I took away from her speech that day was that you can’t encourage yourself to improve if you continue to compare yourself with others and “run in their lanes.”

The best way to improve is to always strive to do your best; not anyone else’s best.

I was made a specific way, and you were made a specific way. We can’t run in each others lanes because we were not made for them. So why try to run someone else’s race when you have your own that is specifically tailored for you?

How far ahead have you run in your own lane from where you were before? Don’t let your mind focus on how far behind you are from other people in their lanes. Everyone runs at a different pace and that’s OK.

It’s not always easy to stop comparing myself to other people and stop focusing on what I am doing wrong. I’ve found, however, that continuing to dig myself deeper in the hole of self-doubt, regret and frustration will only make it harder to move forward.

Canedy compared this self-doubt to a runner who looks back before the finish line, slowing herself down just enough for a person in another lane to pull ahead and win.

So when you see that more involved individual, or that worse grade or that better singer, stop. Look ahead at the finish line, and just run forward from where you were, without looking around at where other people are.