The debacle of “It Ends With Us”

Where did Colleen Hoover, Blake Lively and their marketing go wrong? Marketed as a rom-com, the movie adaptation of, “It Ends With Us” by Colleen Hoover displays the struggles and reality of experiencing domestic violence. To me, this movie was created to bring light to the ever-present heartache that accompanies domestic violence, while also showcasing the strength victims must possess to get out of the situation. This is not a lighthearted topic, and the fact that it is promoted in a fun, floral-full romance comedy fit perfectly for a girls day is utterly appalling. Yusra Shah wrote it perfectly in NOCD’s article, “It Ends With Us Controversy: Are Trigger Warnings Necessary?” published on August 21, 2024, “But despite the fun, flirty marketing, ‘It Ends With Us’ is a much darker story than the trailer and press interviews lead on to.”

While I believed this movie to be educational, touching and a good watch, I was not at all prepared for what content I would be consuming. Having not read Hoover’s book and only being exposed to Lively’s press regarding the film, I expected this to be a movie exploring love and relationships in a feel-good way, only to be sorely mistaken. For me, the way this film was promoted was incredibly unacceptable due to the sensitivity level and how it’s, sadly, sometimes triggering for many viewers. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, more than one in three women and more than one in four men in the United States have experienced physical violence, rape, or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime. Additionally, stated in the same article by NOCD, “The movie is surrounded by controversy due to the shock and trauma-related triggers many viewers felt walking into the film, originally thinking it was light and fluffy, but then learning it is centered around intimate partner violence (also known as domestic violence).” For viewers who have experienced domestic violence, seeing on-screen abuse without warning can trigger their emotions from their personal encounter. One Tiktoker, Lebansesekirby, wrote in a caption of a video “I didn’t read the book and when I bought the movie tickets it didn’t have graphic warnings of SA [sexual assault] – I genuinely had zero clue there would be sexual violence.” They continued to share, “I had a full breakdown in the theater – and it still affected me days later.” Additional accounts of victims’ experiences with the film can be found on the X account, @djchelexx which wrote “It Ends With Us was so triggering and hard to watch for me.” @mnakotav explained “[I’m] watching It Ends With Us and it’s crazy the amount of anxiety I’m going [through]. [It] brings up so many triggering memories.” and @angelinastults stated “[I] Didn’t read the book before watching It Ends With Us and did NOT know it was gonna [going to] be that triggering… WHY WAS IT BEING PORTRAYED AS A ROM COM [?]”.

I believe that Justin Baldoni, who was the director, producer and lead actor for the film, acknowledged the film’s message properly. Baldoni rejects all credit and radiates that this film was made for victims, while being clear that this film is bringing awareness to the issues of abuse and domestic violence. When watching the rep carpet premiere, I saw Rachel Smith of Entertainment Tonight, was at the red carpet premiere of ‘It Ends With Us’ telling Baldoni, “This is your night, mister.” Baldoni responds to Smith saying, “No, this isn’t my night. This is a night for all the women who we made this movie for.” Throughout his interviews, he refers to why this film was created. Contrary to Baldoni’s actions, Blake Lively, lead actress and producer for the same film, has at least one time used the press tour of the film to promote her personal hair care line, along with her husband’s new movie, ‘Deadpool and Wolverine.’ Throughout Lively’s interviews, she can be seen making light of questions, turning them around into jokes, addressing the film in a feel-good rom-com manner, and turning the questions towards her personal business. One example I viewed was when watching the same red carpet premiere of the movie during an interview with AlloCiné. When asked about the movie and the domestic violence displayed, she trails off topic, saying, “Why is Deadpool and Wolverine sold out? I’m sorry I got distracted back there.” then laughs it off. Also, in contrast to Baldoni’s support of victims and clarity to what the film is truly about, Lively, as I previously mentioned, can be quoted saying, “It Ends With Us is in theaters now, so grab your friends, wear your florals and head out to see it.” on the official Instagram page for, ‘It Ends With Us’ in what I would describe as a very upbeat manner. In my opinion, Brett Cooper said it perfectly in her YouTube episode ‘Why Everyone Is Turning Against Blake Lively’: “It Ends With Us is a story about domestic violence and abuse.” This is a movie highlighting the reality that victims and survivors of domestic violence and abuse experience, the focus should not trail anywhere other than those realities and how to seek help. 
If you are a victim of domestic violence and abuse, you can find help through the National Domestic Violence Hotline. You can call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233), text “START” to 88788, or visit the website at https://www.thehotline.org/. You can also visit https://www.nomore.org if there is any information regarding domestic and/or sexual violence that one would wish to share.