Finding his voice

Autism not stopping Rossi from taking on sports announcing

It was second period when Brandon Rossi lost control.

He was a sophomore at West Allegheny High School sitting in English class. His classmates were bullying him during an arts and crafts assignment, calling him names like “ugly” and “useless.”

Looking back now, Rossi said he can’t remember if they were trying to be funny or not. However, it would be hard for him to determine regardless as someone who can’t read emotions, which is a typical symptom for someone with autism.

“I was already upset at that point, but they weren’t stopping,” Rossi said. “They just kept instigating me. They wanted a reaction.”

The more they taunted him, the more Rossi’s temper escalated. He tried to hold in his emotions, which resulted in his body growing tense and shaking violently. Once one of the students threw something at him, and at that point, Rossi said he knew it was over.

That’s when he grabbed the pair of scissors off his desk and pressed them to his neck, threatening to kill himself.

“I don’t remember much else from that moment,” Rossi said. “That’s when my anger took over.”

The next thing he knew, Rossi heard the teacher’s voice echoing in his ears.

“BRANDON, DOWNSTAIRS NOW,” she yelled from across the room, demanding he head straight to the Guidance Counselor’s office. The room fell silent.

The diagnosis

Rossi said his parents knew something was wrong from the moment he tried to say his first words.

“Most kids start talking when they are 1,” Rossi said. “I didn’t start talking until I was around 4 years old.”

Instead of talking, Rossi said he would just make a collection of noises and grunts. Eventually, they took him to the doctor’s office, where he was diagnosed with a form of autism known as Pervasive Developmental Disorder.

“It’s actually a mild form of autism,” Rossi said, commenting on his diagnosis. “I got lucky, essentially.”

After he was initially diagnosed, Rossi immediately was enrolled in several treatment programs.

However, despite the early detection, Rossi didn’t find out about his condition until he went to middle school—almost seven years later.

At this point in his life, he said all he wanted to do was blend in, but he felt very different compared to his classmates.

“I was trying to figure out what was wrong with me,” Rossi said. “My parents had a sit-down with me and that’s when they told me I was autistic. I didn’t even know what that was. They told me it was hard to explain, but the best way they could put it was that I was not normal.”

And then it hit him.

“All I wanted to do was fit in,” Rossi said. “But then I learned that I had something that would always make me stand out.”

Learning to cope

Back in the classroom, when Rossi hazily stood up to walk to the Guidance Counselor’s office, he felt the eyes of his peers following him.

Despite being nervous about what repercussions were waiting for him when he got there, he said he was shocked at how casual it was.

“I went to talk to the counselors, and then they just let me go to lunch as if nothing happened,” Rossi said.

After lunch, he was called back down to the office, and when he got there, he saw two familiar faces: his parents.

“My mom was distraught,” Rossi said. “They told me I had to go to [Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic of UPMC], and I didn’t even know what that was. My Dad told me it was a mental hospital, and I started freaking out.”

Rossi said going to Western Psych changed his life forever.

“I’ll never forget looking around and seeing the people there that were obviously broken, and realizing I was right there with them,” he said. “That was eye-opening for me.”

Although he said it was a scary and emotional time, Rossi said Western Psych gave him the tools and strength to manage his autism and continue living a semi-normal life.

However, when he eventually returned to his high school, he still struggled to do what he has always wanted to do: fit in.

“I wanted to make friends, but I would often have to leave areas because they’d get too crowded for me and sensory overload would shut me down,” Rossi said. “I also didn’t know how to talk to people because it does sound a lot like anxiety. I had to teach myself what happy is. What angry is. What sadness is.”

Life at Waynesburg

Rossi came to Waynesburg University in Spring 2016 after he spent a semester at Robert Morris University. He transferred to Waynesburg after hearing about the strength of the sports broadcasting/sports information program, and with a dream of becoming a professional sports announcer someday, it was a no-brainer.

In fact, looking back now, he said it was one of the best decisions he’s ever made.

“For the first time in a long time, I felt like I could be myself here and not worry about other people and just be me, which is the best me,” Rossi said.

However, the theme of trying to fit in has followed him to college, and he still feels like an outsider amongst friends. In November 2017, he hit a new low and gained a new diagnosis: depression.

“Thanksgiving was really rough for me,” he said. “I cried myself to sleep until 2 or 3 a.m. with the negative thoughts I had, and I didn’t know why. I just kept feeling like I was just a bother to everybody.”

After witnessing these emotions first-hand, Rossi’s roommate, senior sports broadcasting/sports information major Greg Finley, knew there was something wrong.

“Last semester, he really had it bad,” Finley said. “He would wake up sobbing and wondering why he’s even on the earth, and I told him he needed to call his mom or go to the Counseling Center.”

Because of these feelings, Rossi said he sometimes finds himself posting on social media to vent about his mental health as a “cry for help.” After a few too many posts, he and Finley were startled awake around 7:30 a.m. by security officers pounding on their door, making sure Rossi was OK.

“We’ve actually had security come to our dorm room twice this semester because of something he posted on Twitter,” Finley said.

Finley said he wished Rossi would come to talk to him before things escalate and security gets involved, but he knows that Rossi’s depression plays a huge role in that.

“I don’t understand why he has to go to social media for these things, but I have also never dealt with depression, so I don’t think I will ever fully understand,” Finley said.

Today, with the help of friends like Finley and support from the Counseling Center, Rossi has regained his footing.

“I am thankful because obviously, things get tough between [my autism and depression],” Rossi said. “I am really thankful that they are there for me.”

Beating the odds

Rossi couldn’t say a word until age 4, but today, speaking has become his livelihood through sports announcing.

“Whenever I am announcing, I don’t really think about autism or depression. That stuff just goes away,” Rossi said. “That’s the one place I feel at home; one thing I feel like I am genuinely good at. I want to be the best at what my name is attached to, and I feel proud of what I do.”

Despite his success in the field, Rossi still feels diminished by his condition.

“I have always wanted to fit in,” Rossi said. “People say they understand, but I don’t think they fully do. They don’t know what it’s like to live with autism.”

Rossi said that he has first-hand heard people call him and others with autism derogatory terms like “retard” and “slow,” and while he tries not to let words get to him, they still hurt.

“I want to be accepted as just another one of the guys, but the problem is, I am diagnosed with something that people view as being retarded, and it’s just a fact of life for me I guess,” Rossi said. “Autism is not that at all, and it’s helped me more than it’s hurt me. In terms of making friends, it sounds cliché, but people stay away from what they don’t understand, but it shouldn’t be that way.”

As he continues to chase his dreams at Waynesburg, Rossi hopes he will enter the world of sports announcing and be able to set an example for others with autism.

“I want to be the guy that gives people hope and that people with autism are normal and can succeed at life,” he said. “I am in the process of doing what I want to do, so why can’t anybody else?”